“People of earth: smile and hone your drinking skills! Not only do you have to out think but you gotta out drink the competition in this game.” This and more mild mutterings memorizing an atmosphere of giddy confusion, general disobedience, and civil unrest. Found in an intercepted message from Io the fifth moon of Jupiter; believed to be from the mighty thunder god Zeus to poor cloven footed Pan. It ends simply “Please destroy after reading.” Not long after this momentous discovery I received an equally enigmatic memo from Jenny Kreag: Note to self; the red eagle flies at midnight. repeat. end transmission